The Classroom of God

God has been teaching me a lot about trust during this current semester of Generation-Link.  Last semester, I asked him to cause me to trust him COMPLETELY.  Little did I know, he would take my prayer very seriously, and use some methods to answer it that I wouldn't have asked for.  

What is trust?  Is it believing that God will keep me from harm and trouble?  Is it believing that when I'm suffering he will relieve me?  Is it believing that God will grant me a relatively happy and care-free life?  If you had asked me last semester, I wouldn't have said that this was really what I believed about trust.  But this past month's experiences with suffering have shown me otherwise.

This past month I have gone through the hardest period of time in my life so far.  I don't mean to sound overly dramatic.  The details of this struggle don't really matter.  The short of it is this.  I was suddenly overcome every morning when I woke up with the most horrible, uncontrollable fear and anxiety I have ever experienced.  For almost a month, I didn't want to get out of bed in the mornings.  I couldn't eat most of the time.  I vomited regularly.  I couldn't spend a moment by myself at my apartment.  I made multiple visits to the doctor and tried various medicines to help.  I read God's Word but felt that God had forsaken me.  I pursued counseling and help from anyone and everyone.  I struggled to believe that a good God wouldn't respond immediately to my cries for help.  And yet throughout this whole time, I longed for heaven more than I ever have before.  Through this desperate period of time, God began to teach me what trust really is.  

Trust is NOT believing that God will keep me from harm or trouble.  He COULD, because he is able.  But if he doesn't keep me from harm, he will give me the grace to sustain me through it.  He will give me the grace I need for ANYTHING he allows in my path.  He will provide me with HIMSELF.

Trust is NOT believing that he will always relieve me from suffering.  He COULD, because he is able.  But if he chooses not to, he is still GOOD.  He always does what is for my good and his glory.  Do I really believe that with all my heart when I'm in the midst of suffering?  He is GOOD.  He is most glorified in my suffering or he wouldn't be allowing it!

Trust is NOT believing that God will grant me a relatively happy and care-free life.  He COULD, because he able.  But even during times of great mourning and pain, he can give me the ability to REJOICE because of the gospel.  I have been rescued from my greatest problem through Christ's blood!  I have been healed of my worst disease! I have been credited the righteousness of Christ!  I have been granted an eternal reward in heaven!  This world of pain, sickness, tears and death is not my home.  Praise Him!

No matter what trial I face, no matter what suffering I experience, no matter what struggle or sin I fight daily, God's grace is sufficient for every minute, for every hour, for every day.  The answer to a struggling spirit is nothing short of a thankful heart.  Thanking the Lord for what he has given me, and not dwelling on what I have to do without.  Thanking the Lord for what he has saved me from, and not dwelling on what he is allowing me to experience.

"Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again:  Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you."  Philippians 4:4-9

Even in our sufferings, Lord, let us be content, knowing that you are doing a greater work than we can even fathom.  Let us trust you truly and fully.  Thank you that you always work for our good and your glory.  Give us the ability to believe your Word and rely on you, even in our greatest struggles.

"Thou hast disarmed me of the means in which I trusted, 
and I have no strength but in thee.  

Thou alone canst hold back my evil ways, 
but without thy grace to sustain me I fall.  
Satan's darts quickly inflame me, and the shield that should quench them easily drops from my hand:  
Empower me against his wiles and assaults. 

Keep me sensible of my weakness, and of my dependence upon thy strength.  

Let every trial teach me more of thy peace, more of thy love.  

Thy Holy Spirit is given to increase thy graces and I cannot preserve or improve them 
unless he works continually in me.  

May he confirm my trust in thy promised help, 
and let me walk humbly in dependence upon thee, for Jesus' sake."

Valley of Vision:  "Grace in Trials"

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"Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  2 Corinthians 4:16-18


Written by Emily Kurtz.